


Test on the subway

by Hypatia_66



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (TV)
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Terrorism, New York City, Plague, Subways, THRUSH
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:22:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23080048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hypatia_66/pseuds/Hypatia_66
Summary: Illya and Napoleon must find the carrier of stolen plague bacteria before he uses them in a planned test in the New York subway using harmless bacteria.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	Test on the subway

“Check,” said Illya, moving a pawn.

“Damn.”

“You need to keep an eye on the inconspicuous pieces.”

Napoleon was about to reply with something inelegant when the call came through from above.

<>

“What do you know about biological warfare?” said Waverly as Solo and Kuryakin entered his office and sat down.

“It’s a war crime,” said Solo confidently.

“The _use_ of chemical and biological weapons is banned by the Geneva Convention protocols, not mere possession of them,” said Kuryakin more accurately. Waverly pressed a toxic wad into his pipe but, as usual, didn’t light it and Solo catching Illya’s eye, winked.

Ignoring him, Illya continued equally accurately (if a little pedantically in Solo’s view), “the conventions date from the two world wars because of the effects of gas used on troops in the first and, during the second, of the Japanese dropping fleas carrying bubonic plague over China. It was an attack on civilians, of course – which is also a war crime.”

Waverly nodded. Thus encouraged, Illya then glanced at Napoleon and said more diffidently, “Dropping an atomic bomb doesn’t seem to have been regarded as a war crime, but the US also maintains large stockpiles of both biological and chemical weapons. It is actually using the latter in Vietnam, and it dropped anthrax over southern China during World War Two, and insects infected with diseases like smallpox, typhus, cholera and plague to kill civilians in Korea…”

A look of revulsion crossed Napoleon’s face but Waverly raised fierce eyebrows. “Some of that was classified top secret, Mr Kuryakin. Where did you learn about it?”

“In Cambridge – accidentally, sir – and London.”

“I see.”

After a moment, Waverly spoke again. “You may or may not know that the New York subway is about to be used in an experiment to test the potential spread of anthrax …”

“ _What_?” said Napoleon.

“…using harmless bacteria, in theory,” Waverly continued. Napoleon looked shocked.

His partner, more cynical about secretive government agencies, was less surprised. “And you fear that Thrush may use it as an opportunity?” he said.

“A batch of plague spores has been reported missing during a stock check at an army research laboratory,” Waverly said. “We believe it was stolen to order by Thrush. They undoubtedly intend to use or threaten to use this particularly deadly bacterium – and if it induced the pneumonic form of plague, it would spread very easily through a population. The subway would offer the ideal opportunity.”

“What are we doing keeping stuff like that?” Napoleon was indignant.

Waverly looked grim. “One reason would be to develop vaccines, Mr Solo. Plague is not under current development for use in war – though it might just as well be considering what _is_ being developed.”

“Where do we come in, sir?” said Illya, intent on practicalities.

“The plans are to conduct the experimental dispersal of what they say are harmless bacteria, to simulate what would happen if a virus or bacterial disease were released in the New York subway. I want you to monitor the researchers carrying out the experiment.”

“What if we’re in the way when the real thing is released?” said Napoleon.

“We will wear protective gear, surely?” said Illya.

“No,” said Waverly. “The teams will be performing the experiment at peak hours. Protective gear would alarm the public, and, as this is a secret experiment, that must be avoided.”

Illya spotted another flaw in the arrangement. “If the person carrying the dangerous bacteria isn’t allowed to wear protective gear, he won’t be there. He’ll transfer the container to someone else, won’t he?”

Waverly nodded approvingly. “Very possibly. I want you to join them before they start and find out which of them might be carrying the deadly container. Find him before he passes it to one of the others.”

“So, can we be vaccinated?” asked Solo, hopefully.

“There are no effective vaccines that are safe to use on either animals or humans. Not yet anyway,” said Illya.

Napoleon looked him in the eye. “You’re such a comfort,” he said.

<><>

As Defence Department observers, the UNCLE agents joined the two army research teams at a meeting above ground. The researchers, a dozen relatively tall men, watched them approach and stifled sniggers. One nudged his neighbour and whispered, “Defence Department economy-size, to get more for your buck.” It would probably be a surprise when he discovered the truth of his joke assertion.

When Solo and Kuryakin heard how the researchers intended to spread the bacteria, it was something of a shock.

“In lightbulbs? … Eighty trillion bacteria in each one? … Where are you going to put them?”

The lightbulbs were to be dropped under the wheels of a train, whose onward passage would disperse the bacteria through the tunnels.

“There is no mechanical ventilation and no air conditioning in the subway – the piston effect of moving trains will force air through the tunnels, up into airducts and out into the street,” one of the team explained.

“Can we see the lightbulbs?” said Illya.

They looked into the opened bags and saw a number of glass bulbs, black inside. “Why are they black?”

“Charcoal, so we can monitor where it goes.”

“I see.”

“That’s the idea,” said the joker.

One team got ready to set off to another subway line leaving the other preparing to descend into the nearest station. The teams' driver, who was carrying a small bag of his own, edged away and turned as if to light a cigarette.

“Just a minute there. I need to see everyone’s bag,” said Napoleon, coming up behind him. He looked round wildly and seeing Napoleon so close, ran. Napoleon and Illya took off after him in hot pursuit, leaving the rest of the men open-mouthed.

He ran fast and had longer legs than his pursuers, but as he turned into an alleyway he suddenly doubled up coughing and collapsed with the bag beside him.

The two UNCLE agents stopped abruptly, watching his spasms.

“Keep back,” said Illya. “If he’s pretending, he’s being very convincing, but I don’t think he _is_ pretending.”

Napoleon pulled out his communicator to request emergency medical backup with isolation equipment.

“Imperative you wear protective gear – and bring us some!” Illya heard him say as they both retreated.

<><>

In full protective overalls and wearing respirators, the UNCLE medics approached the man. He was gurgling and there was blood round his mouth. They lifted him onto the gurney they had brought, sealed him inside its clear cover with an oxygen mask and took him away to an isolation facility. Others sprayed the area with disinfectant and closed off the alleyway. Someone brought the bag to Napoleon and Illya, now also wearing protective clothing and respirators.

The two lightbulbs nestling inside the padded bag were intact. Lacking the charcoal mixed with the others, they were white. It seemed more than likely that they contained trillions of not relatively harmless bacteria but decidedly harmful plague bacilli…

The army researchers had been told to keep back and were waiting. “What’s going on?” said one of them when the two UNCLE agents returned to them.

“Your missing plague bacteria,” said Napoleon, pointing to the bag. The teams retreated a step or two.

“My God… you mean these contain the _Yersinia pestis_ bacilli?”

“We think they may do,” said Illya. “They will be tested and destroyed – and we’ll need to take all your other containers for testing too. You can’t use any of them in the subway – you’ll have to get new ones before you continue with this experiment.”

“And you will all have to be interviewed and vetted before you take part,” Napoleon added.

The men looked annoyed. It was already an expensive experiment and they were about to argue when Illya interrupted with even less welcome orders.

“Whatever that man’s been doing, he has been contaminated,” he said. “You will all need to be isolated, tested and given antibiotics, in case he has passed it on to you.”

“Good job it isn’t a virus, then,” said the joker. Illya’s blue eyes flashed.

“What is good is that we caught up with him before he could pass these to you to drop. What kind of vetting do you do, that such a man could be allowed to become involved?” he said angrily.

Napoleon touched his arm. “We need to get back, Illya.” He turned to the group of researchers. “You must go in the special ambulances with our people. They’ll take care of everything… Good luck.”

If the seriousness of the situation hadn’t struck home already, Napoleon’s final ‘Good luck’, did. They looked at each other then meekly surrendered themselves and their bacteria to the UNCLE medics and were driven away.

Napoleon and Illya returned to UNCLE headquarters where, to their great surprise and indignation, they were shunned by all. The young woman on reception refused to let them have their badges and said they must wait for instructions.

Mr Waverly himself came down and, keeping his distance, said, “I’m afraid you will have to go into isolation yourselves. The army researchers were in close contact with the man who seems to have the disease, and you have been in contact with them. We can’t risk it.”

“Isolation where?” Napoleon sighed.

“We will seal off part of the infirmary here. It’s only for a while.”

“How long?”

“Probably about a week to be safe.”

“Food?” said Illya apprehensively.

“Of course. The infirmary staff will provide you with meals.”

Illya sighed and said, “Their usual kind of food?”

Waverly began to look irritated. “I just … Don’t let them give us green jello,” Illya said desperately.

Waverly almost smiled at that. “I’ll tell them,” he said.

Relieved of one anxiety, Illya then said, “We’ll need to have some sort of stimulus or we’ll end up killing each other… It’ll have to be chess,” he said, looking at Napoleon. “Infinitely challenging, and we’re quite evenly matched. The pieces are easier to decontaminate than books, too.”

“You’re on.” Napoleon turned to his chief. “Can we have a chess set?”

“Certainly,” said Waverly. “But while you will undoubtedly capture each other’s king, try not to checkmate each other. I want to see you both in good health and undamaged in a week’s time. I have a job for you.”

<><><><>

**Author's Note:**

> I once catalogued a (previously uncatalogued) book that I discovered contained a report about secret biological warfare during World War II. It was, and is, kept in the closed stacks of a library in Cambridge (England). 
> 
> In 1966, the New York subway was used in an army field test for the spread of anthrax spores in an urban population (using a bacterium which is similar to anthrax but benign) – in just the way I’ve described. Detection devices around the system picked up where they landed. After 6 days, reports suggested 50% people travelling would become ill in the event of an attack.
> 
> During a 20-year program (1949-1969) of vulnerability tests, some really did get sick: when the San Francisco Bay area, including Stanford University Hospital, was sprayed in 1950 with bacteria that were not completely harmless, it caused at least one death – a hospital patient. 
> 
> Until the 2000s it was legal to hold dangerous bacteria in labs without notifying the authorities.


End file.
